When Caring for a Parent Hurts: Facts, Research, and Help

Family caregivers in the United States have taken on a huge share of care for older adults and people with disabilities. Recent estimates show 59 million Americans care for adults and they provided 49.5 billion hours of unpaid help in one year, work valued at about $1.01 trillion. Many caregivers help with bathing, medicine, rides, money and daily needs. These unpaid hours have supported hospitals and long term care systems while replacing paid home care.

Although many caregivers give care willingly, some adult children are caring for parents who harmed them in childhood. Research has found about one in five filial caregivers reported past abuse, and those who care for a parent who once hurt them have experienced more frequent depressive symptoms. While caregiving tasks can be practical, they can also reopen old emotional wounds. Programs funded through the Administration for Community Living and local aging agencies have been set up to offer counseling, training and respite. If the work feels too hard, caregivers can ask for help, set clear limits, and reach out to support groups and health professionals.